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CAKE 
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1 0 1 0 2 0 1 1 posted Oct 10th 2011, 4:37AM
Urgh,
Getting over old friends is the worst, isn't it? I did that today. Took the final step and everything (which, to me, is to cut all communication with someone. Not to stop talking, no that happened already, but to remove the possibility of doing so. Why would you have someone you don't talk to /at all/ on your lists-of-whatever anyway?). I think it's fairly healthy too, instead of wandering around pining over someone (what good did that ever do anyone, mm?).
It was a fairly ugly end, I suppose, by some standards. Surely one of the worst I've been through. There'd been some periods where I'd be blamed for some outrageous stuff which prolly helped getting things where they were (I'm not saying I was innocent myself, not by a long shot. I had no qualms about nagging about the blaming, no qualms at all). Then I gave my opinion on a subject and was blasted away by.. I don't know what xD (Though I will say, considering how many words was put in my mouth without my consent, it smacks a little of suppressed guilt *shrugs*. Still, I can't be held accountable for how the person took what I said. I was being clear about my opinion. If someone decides to play martyr and warp my words.. well.. be warned; I won't care). Some pretty dumb stuff was said, on both sides, and I was blamed for the sins of my family (honestly, does anyone want to go down that road? Isn't that a bit stupid? Everyone has some family that does dumb shit and if we're to blame each others of the deeds of our families, rather than what we do ourselves, no one will ever manage to get along. Not to mention that this person should understand that... they're as bad off as I am, in that regard. Oh well, suit yourself. Could have started laying into them, listing things, but I didn't. I'm not sure I took the high road as much as I just couldn't cope with my anger at that moment).
Don't get me wrong, I didn't up and leave then completely. Of course, in that second I left, but not over all. Sure, I bruted, sulked even, which is better than just writing all the nasty things I thought. Wrote the person back too, but apparently they'd decided that being pissed felt better than.. dunno.. whatever they felt (actually, that's not completely fair. I can't justify trying to say what they think, cause I don't know. Just like they apparently don't know two shits about me and my inner workings. Not that it's stopped people before, from being friends. The idea that unless you bloody know each others, you can't socialize, is ridiculous. I find it arrogant, pretentious and self-righteous). As it is, I wrote eventually. I mean, I always do. Didn't get an answer though, which prevented any dialogue from commencing. I suppose I could write again, begging the person to talk to me, but if that's what they'd expected then.. lol.. well.. I think we already established they don't know me, nor I them. I don't ever beg. There was a chance for us to talk, they passed it and that was that. Wouldn't beg even for the King of Chocolate-land, (though I might beg, slightly, briefly, for some Lava cake, right in this very moment).
Well... they're prolly better off anyway, by all accounts. It must have been stressful, finding time enough in the day to blame me for everything they could think of (oh dear, don't I sound bitter? Well, I am xD). Some of it was completely outrageous and not at all realistic either, but I suppose that's what will happen when you tone down the fights for years. Must have build up quite some naggable-shit, I know I did. Sometimes I wonder if I should just have let them have it, as they let me. /I/ certainly would have felt better, and pleasing ourselves seemed to be what was aimed for, by the end of it.
Sweet mother of toast, this is turning out to be a serious wall of text, isn't it? Well, it's therapeutic, at least. It turned out to be a lot more "blamey" than I intended, didn't even know how much these things bothered me before now.
Still, don't you find losing friends to be some of the worst things to happen? Even if it's probably healthy sometimes? It's especially hard if you have a lot of baggage with them. I mean, we shared years of stories, we created so many souls together that'll die now (of course we can both use them for other things and I'll certainly keep drawing and writing for mine on my own, I /love/ them and grew up with them, but it'll never be the same, will it? Something will be missing. Well, on my part, perhaps. Haha. I know well the person disliked more than they liked about my characters, or, I pretend to know. With all the bad things they said about my characters, with all the times they disliked my characters because their characters misunderstood mine and mine theirs, it seems that way at least. I love flaws, so maybe I pushed it too far sometimes. Oh well, if my characters shouldn't reflect the world I see around me, what should I make them for?).
The worst is to be reminded, I think. Those times where you remember something small, something stupid that you used to share. Or could share. There'll be others, of course, there always is, and I fully understand the concept of enjoying the time shared, not fretting on the time gone. People grow apart anyway, but it's always /difficult/ isn't it?
Yeah, cutting bonds with acquaintances is always hard. It knocked me out for a good bit... Haha, lets be fair; I am probably still a bit under the weather. Still, I plan to begin posting pictures again soon. I've managed to get my stationary up and running, not to mention I have an art trade with Cowcow (Mr. Eddy), so art should soon start appearing again. I have some wip pictures with both mine and the person's character though... I wonder if I should just leave them unfinished or not. You can't really draw someone's character without permission and changing the name to "Barry 8D" would just be retarded.
Oh well, that's what made me disappear. I'll now go off to work on some pictures. |
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VisualKei666 Says: (Jan 5th 2012, 12:18AM)
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I'm asking all of my favourite artists here on SA this question:
Did you perfect how to draw a realistic anatomically correct figure before working on your style of art?
Can you draw a realistic anatomically correct figure if the opportunity/challenge arises?
What inspirations do you use for your art (ex: favourite artists)? Do you use them as reference too when you're in a bind?
I hope to hear back soon. thank you for your time ^ - ^ |
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mr eddy Says: (Feb 26th 2011, 11:38AM)
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UUUUUUUNGH! I'm sorry I'm not into MSN and such :c I need to finish arts (the well known excuse  ) and I'm so CRUMPY atm! DX No reason really :/ it seems I tend to wake up with my butt up DX
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VisualKei666 Says: (Jan 19th 2011, 3:03AM)
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Wow... Mr. Eddy was right
You are utterly amazing
Your detail on art makes me want to push myself to be a bit more with mine... but I'm not as talented as you are
I am watching you so I can study your style a bit ^ - ^ if you don't mind. |
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Keyshe Says: (Jan 18th 2011, 10:39PM)
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Hello, coming in here from Mr Eddy. Your art looks cool so I'm gonna watch! |
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